It is when you are feeling your most fragile and unloveable that it is the time to be brave and reach out to others. Rather than hide, I knew I MUST use this as a reason to connect with YOU.Īnd so let this be a little, messy-beautiful lesosn to you. I knew I must use the current challenging state of mind to be fuel for vulnerability instead. I knew I must fight my instinct to shut myself off. If you live vulnerable, you open yourself up for expansive love. You cannot be defensive and vulnerable at the same time.įurthermore, if you live your life defensively, you will close yourself off. I learned a few years ago, that one can either chose to live a vulnerable life or they cannot. My purpose is to journey and to invite others into the process with me. Raw and emotional and also fierce and resolved. To live the truth that we can be conflicted and yet loving at the same time. To show that NONE of us are final products, ever. It is my job to share my process, whatever the mountain is that I am climbing. It is my job to share at EVERY phase of my journey. Because that is not who I am and that is not WHO I WANT TO BE in this world. ![]() I wanted to hide and not “put myself out there” because there is no way I deserved to have a voice now. I struggled for a few minutes, wondering how I could even continue to show up for other people when I am, so clearly, imperfect myself? The self-doubt had crept in, something powerful. I’m not healthy and I know it and living in this state is not what I want nor I deserve so…. So here I am, at a personal apex of self-awareness, facing the mountain and beginning to climb one step at a time. ![]() I made the bed I am laying in – do I judge myself? NO. But I got here, pushed over the edge of my own physical comfort, from a year of intense emotional eating used a survival mechanism. I can see that my relationship to food has, literally, never been healthier BUT, at the same time, I am living at a weight that does not, in any way shape or form, work for me right now. Here were some of the things that came up. I spent a good bit of time yesterday observing my thoughts. You’ve got this, I said to myself.Īnd I worked through the moment. I told myself my imperfections and my body and my “flaws” are all part of who I am as a glorious being.ĭeep breath, Sarah. If I am not emotionally and spiritually aligned and awake, I cannot connect, be present, or grow.Ĥ. My mindset is the most important thing, mental health is the most important thing. I directed my thoughts to what was REALLY important. I reminded myself that my feelings are not ME – they are only feelings and feelings are transient.ģ. It's like floating above yourself and you watch yourself have feelings – you name them and identify them and talk to them but are not swept up in them. ![]() I let myself feel what was coming up, but I “narrated” it instead. And, in a matter of seconds, I switched from feeling my feelings to OBSERVING my feelings.ġ. So I made a DELIBERATE choice to keep going anyway. My shape was rounder… I took a few deep breaths and struggled to get back into the right headspace. I mean, I knew it was me but, what I saw wasn’t a “me” I was peaceful with. In fact, as I was watching myself in the camera, I found myself getting distracted… I didn’t recognize my face and my body. And, I am SO EXCITED that I can’t contain myself.Īnd then I watched the video back. ![]() I recorded a casual video to share my excitement with you about the doors opening for my LIFELOVE Vatreat. And I want you to be able to learn from this. I want you to know how conscious and intentional the thought process that followed was. And yesterday, I really wanted to say “fuck it” and abandon ship.īut I didn’t.
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